loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
