We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
