he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I want a musical about memes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
