I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
