Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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