Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
