I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
