I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
