a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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