I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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