If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
