I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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