So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i was born a porn star she said
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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