How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
