i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
