dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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