he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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