So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
