Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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