Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think a kid would responsible me up
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
