Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
