There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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