In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no, he came in my armpit
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
