i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
