Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
