How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
