after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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