Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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