She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
