I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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