No awkward lesbian experiences without me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
