party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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