i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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