Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
