So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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