even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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