I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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