bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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