I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
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