I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
