Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
