last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
