I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
