Me. At least after what I've been through.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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