your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
