I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
