I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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