we have pet lesbian snakes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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