so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
