the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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