I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
